the day.
I guess I became so so much bipolar now. A week ago, it was my birthday. This year, perhaps is the most low profile I had. Nothing at all. Just that ZJ knows and I felt his craziness nontheless. However, my purpose for the post, is Ed. He knew my birthday (maybe) in fact helping my kids plan surprise. That noon, we had lunch together. I sometimes can't understand how we can pick up these fights over small topics. He asked, what is the purpose of celebrating birthday.
That evening, we had training, and after pick up that I saw him afterwards. I didnt know where he went tho. But since he did not talk to me, my ego taught me not to either. After I bath, he called me up, ask me have I eaten and go down immediately. I didnt know that it was even possible that my friends will patch up with him. Samantha hugged me from behind, and PuiMun is just behind her. I swear, every year, the first word I'll say is , "what the fuck." But i can feel some heartache, some disppointment, despite all my kids are there. I know, and I feel so touched, cuz I know I meant a lot to them. :D
He called me after I offered him muffins. Actually, when I saw him, my heart literally jumped. Cuz I was stuck a lil in my upset mood. I lighted up. He just doesnt have to do anything to make my day. I smiled. That was the highlight of the day for me. :D
As for ZJ, I wont deny how much fun I have with him. All the silly things we do, all the talks we discuss under the sun, all the drama we create. He, is just great companion. It's sad, of course, that I know I have lost the power to feel again, after Edmund left me cold and alone. :( So, I got to the point to realize, that me and ZJ are perfectly comfortable and there is no need for anything else to be done. I just love how we are. friends, and perhaps, friends with benefit. Tell me how sweet he is, he is definitely better than me. Once, we discuss about inner self. It was the first time, I felt myself shivering. That even when he come close, I feel like shun him away. So scary, that I almost cried. Cuz it makes me wonder, so who am I then? In a way, I feel sad for him. Insecurity creeps in himself. Thats why.
As for Edmund, I told myself not to put myself in so much anymore, cuz I continue to expect and I resolve back to disappointment. Funny how he refuses to even reply me. So I gave in. But it was his birthday and that was a gift made for him. So I called him up and gave it to him. lol. I knew he would hit me. Maybe a lil surprise. And the best moment, is when he hugged me. It wasn't all the tight hugs, but its just enough to let me know he appreciates it. :D
It became worthy for all the run.
HuiJin Liew
That evening, we had training, and after pick up that I saw him afterwards. I didnt know where he went tho. But since he did not talk to me, my ego taught me not to either. After I bath, he called me up, ask me have I eaten and go down immediately. I didnt know that it was even possible that my friends will patch up with him. Samantha hugged me from behind, and PuiMun is just behind her. I swear, every year, the first word I'll say is , "what the fuck." But i can feel some heartache, some disppointment, despite all my kids are there. I know, and I feel so touched, cuz I know I meant a lot to them. :D
He called me after I offered him muffins. Actually, when I saw him, my heart literally jumped. Cuz I was stuck a lil in my upset mood. I lighted up. He just doesnt have to do anything to make my day. I smiled. That was the highlight of the day for me. :D
As for ZJ, I wont deny how much fun I have with him. All the silly things we do, all the talks we discuss under the sun, all the drama we create. He, is just great companion. It's sad, of course, that I know I have lost the power to feel again, after Edmund left me cold and alone. :( So, I got to the point to realize, that me and ZJ are perfectly comfortable and there is no need for anything else to be done. I just love how we are. friends, and perhaps, friends with benefit. Tell me how sweet he is, he is definitely better than me. Once, we discuss about inner self. It was the first time, I felt myself shivering. That even when he come close, I feel like shun him away. So scary, that I almost cried. Cuz it makes me wonder, so who am I then? In a way, I feel sad for him. Insecurity creeps in himself. Thats why.
As for Edmund, I told myself not to put myself in so much anymore, cuz I continue to expect and I resolve back to disappointment. Funny how he refuses to even reply me. So I gave in. But it was his birthday and that was a gift made for him. So I called him up and gave it to him. lol. I knew he would hit me. Maybe a lil surprise. And the best moment, is when he hugged me. It wasn't all the tight hugs, but its just enough to let me know he appreciates it. :D
It became worthy for all the run.
HuiJin Liew
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