myself
You've got memories to share, you've got tears of joy to shed. I never had them. I find it always this way. I was born defensive. I would say once, twice and probably a million times of this. No matter what people do to me, I cannot stop thinking with my logic. Nothing changes my mind once to share what I had. Probably because I had none.
You said you can never understand the life of us as urban crowd. I am a city girl. I live in a concrete, average house with my dad, mom and two elder sisters. Daddy was a workaholic and the soul bread winner, Mommy is a housewife with kids to look after, elder sister is grad with imaginative thoughts and gullible, second sister is an unemployed fresh grad with a boyfriend she cares of. And me? I never listen to anyone else. Simply, stubborn. I grew up to learn that you can never do anything or fight for anything just because you think you're right. I grew up to never get to learn that the stars shine beautifully at night, how that people under the rain behaves, how I'd miss my grandparents. Yes. I can never understand. I had always been in everyone's lime light. So in the city, I do not talk about them, I moved on and think of a better plan, just so I feel better. In the city, it's about value over money. So I had a weighing scale myself. I don't get to learn how love is, that I had enough of them trying like it is. I stop trying to impress people instead I begin doing things for responsibility. I have guidelines I give myself. I have lines I hate people to utter to me. Yes. those are things you can never understand as well.
When I thought I begin living live, you showed me how much I did not, and how much I can never be. You said, imagination, thats what makes you so bright. Yeah. I never had them. I seem to never had feelings. Except all the times I felt like I'm just too stupid for you, the times I felt like I can never give you what you had given me. I cannot understand at all. And it all brings me to wonder if we can actually stay until the very fourth year and beyond. I have a heart that couldn't stand up for you.
I stopped taking pictures. I stop wanting to play frisbee, I stop wanting to run, I stop wanting to make new friends, I stop wanting to talk, I stop wanting to entertain, I stop inspiring, I simply stop trying. In fact, I start ranting a lot. Yeah. maybe I'm wrong after all. I'm just another lifeless person living in the face of earth. I always see being quiet as my resolution, because I didn't want my tantrum to take over. I use to think that I'm such a person with intellect, but I somehow stop believing so. I feel so less educated. I was once a self motivated person because I knew no one would help me if I don't help myself. But I just somehow changed.
You said I was half-broken and you want to fix me. I guess it can never came true. SO long as I had a rough day, you are somehow the last person I want to see. You're so far in front of me, despite you saying that there's so such thing, that's because you're not looking at our distances. I somehow desperately want to find myself again, yet I didn't want to break your heart or your feelings in the process. Probably that's the city girl problems, we don't get to balance our work when we're tied down. There's someone to hold on, and someone holding onto you.
HuiJin Liew
You said you can never understand the life of us as urban crowd. I am a city girl. I live in a concrete, average house with my dad, mom and two elder sisters. Daddy was a workaholic and the soul bread winner, Mommy is a housewife with kids to look after, elder sister is grad with imaginative thoughts and gullible, second sister is an unemployed fresh grad with a boyfriend she cares of. And me? I never listen to anyone else. Simply, stubborn. I grew up to learn that you can never do anything or fight for anything just because you think you're right. I grew up to never get to learn that the stars shine beautifully at night, how that people under the rain behaves, how I'd miss my grandparents. Yes. I can never understand. I had always been in everyone's lime light. So in the city, I do not talk about them, I moved on and think of a better plan, just so I feel better. In the city, it's about value over money. So I had a weighing scale myself. I don't get to learn how love is, that I had enough of them trying like it is. I stop trying to impress people instead I begin doing things for responsibility. I have guidelines I give myself. I have lines I hate people to utter to me. Yes. those are things you can never understand as well.
When I thought I begin living live, you showed me how much I did not, and how much I can never be. You said, imagination, thats what makes you so bright. Yeah. I never had them. I seem to never had feelings. Except all the times I felt like I'm just too stupid for you, the times I felt like I can never give you what you had given me. I cannot understand at all. And it all brings me to wonder if we can actually stay until the very fourth year and beyond. I have a heart that couldn't stand up for you.
I stopped taking pictures. I stop wanting to play frisbee, I stop wanting to run, I stop wanting to make new friends, I stop wanting to talk, I stop wanting to entertain, I stop inspiring, I simply stop trying. In fact, I start ranting a lot. Yeah. maybe I'm wrong after all. I'm just another lifeless person living in the face of earth. I always see being quiet as my resolution, because I didn't want my tantrum to take over. I use to think that I'm such a person with intellect, but I somehow stop believing so. I feel so less educated. I was once a self motivated person because I knew no one would help me if I don't help myself. But I just somehow changed.
You said I was half-broken and you want to fix me. I guess it can never came true. SO long as I had a rough day, you are somehow the last person I want to see. You're so far in front of me, despite you saying that there's so such thing, that's because you're not looking at our distances. I somehow desperately want to find myself again, yet I didn't want to break your heart or your feelings in the process. Probably that's the city girl problems, we don't get to balance our work when we're tied down. There's someone to hold on, and someone holding onto you.
HuiJin Liew
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