Maybe it's just me.
Soundtrack: Ordinary People, John Legend.
Things are getting a little tough when I try to get something done and I know that relationship is somehow getting in the way. It seems like I am giving so much tantrum to him. I am someone who has really bad temper. And maybe time comes to a point that I can't hide them anymore. That my tantrums can somehow get out on hands. It already is, in my mind.
I know but I can't seem to learn how to take it out of my hands. My academic is like my partial career. I have work to get done. Every now and then I can't help but to compare you and I. You can do almost anything effortless now cuz you've done all you should before. Now your job is just link and connect. Me? I just don't see any connection anywhere. I hear your frustration, whether was it because I do not comprehend, or I ask stupid question, or that I am confused by you, your facial expression and your attitude towards things changes. I understand probably that is exactly how I look like as well when we get so heated up. I know now. That every emotion you and I (accidentally) might have portrayed, they simply had terrified both of us.
Maybe just me.
I suppose I have confessions to make to you. About what I think, or what I have thought. That at some point, I really asked myself, how if you weren't the one I thought you were? How if, actually we will never marry one another? How if I marry someone else? How does that feel? How if Edmund and I patch up again? I know it's terrible. I guess so much sins in my thought that I'm trying to hold back. I'm not sure where can I dump all these thoughts to or erase. I need to get this over, but I don't want to lose Edmund either. I really enjoy him around and talking to me.
Things would probably turn around when he leaves to Australia, or when we start working in different environment, or when we start moving a little apart. I wanted you to o Singapore for two reasons. One, so that I can start focusing on the things I want to, and secondly, so that you can start growing in the environment that you should have been. I want to go with you too for the greater of the future and everything else we've talked about. But the former reason made me hesitant of announcing any decision.
Maybe in the future.
Cheers,
HuiJin Liew
Things are getting a little tough when I try to get something done and I know that relationship is somehow getting in the way. It seems like I am giving so much tantrum to him. I am someone who has really bad temper. And maybe time comes to a point that I can't hide them anymore. That my tantrums can somehow get out on hands. It already is, in my mind.
I know but I can't seem to learn how to take it out of my hands. My academic is like my partial career. I have work to get done. Every now and then I can't help but to compare you and I. You can do almost anything effortless now cuz you've done all you should before. Now your job is just link and connect. Me? I just don't see any connection anywhere. I hear your frustration, whether was it because I do not comprehend, or I ask stupid question, or that I am confused by you, your facial expression and your attitude towards things changes. I understand probably that is exactly how I look like as well when we get so heated up. I know now. That every emotion you and I (accidentally) might have portrayed, they simply had terrified both of us.
Maybe just me.
I suppose I have confessions to make to you. About what I think, or what I have thought. That at some point, I really asked myself, how if you weren't the one I thought you were? How if, actually we will never marry one another? How if I marry someone else? How does that feel? How if Edmund and I patch up again? I know it's terrible. I guess so much sins in my thought that I'm trying to hold back. I'm not sure where can I dump all these thoughts to or erase. I need to get this over, but I don't want to lose Edmund either. I really enjoy him around and talking to me.
Things would probably turn around when he leaves to Australia, or when we start working in different environment, or when we start moving a little apart. I wanted you to o Singapore for two reasons. One, so that I can start focusing on the things I want to, and secondly, so that you can start growing in the environment that you should have been. I want to go with you too for the greater of the future and everything else we've talked about. But the former reason made me hesitant of announcing any decision.
Maybe in the future.
Cheers,
HuiJin Liew
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