next time

So one fine day, he decided to check on me. I was actually doing good, a little normal stress, a little fattened out since I last ran for W5o5. So, he called me somewhere when I was upset. It was a good timing, cuz I needed someone to talk to eventually. Conversations were okay, because I didn't know what should I say, when I hear him calling me wawy ( how he used to call me). I freaked out and switched the topic. It felt like it's sine curve. up and down up and down. But then in the end of the conversation, I told myself to pretend it was nothing. Because that was how it has been.

Since we've known each other, things has always been in this way; where he tells me / do everything he wants to, and the next day, it never happened before. Indeed, he's one fine drug to me. So tempted to call him sometimes, and to talk to him, but I just didn't until he did. That's like the only line I have yet to crossed since he left. I didn't look for him, (well except for that one day because it was his birthday) until he called me for a conversation. That was the only time we have to catch up. 30 minutes or less for a month, and occasionally some words in exchange.

Then one day he found out I had been in a bad shape and he wanted to help. And he wanted to know if I'd like to meet him. I have been doing some thinking and I earnestly do not know if I should, or perhaps ready to meet him. I'm in rehab or 10 months already, and idk if that time i long enough for me to learn to say no. But yet again, I may not have any other chance to meet him again after this holiday.