Ng YongJun
Here, is my confession for you.
There were so many things running through my mind ever since our distance grew. I thought there were a glimpse of light for us, even though I knew you had your heart for someone else. Last semester, we spend so much time together, I guess I can never count them. I love having you around me, even when we were not talking.
I remember the night we went dinner, then I said I wanna sit longer in your car. So we chatted. We talked bout quiet some topics. About you, about me, about your ex's and mine. I remember that feeling I have and just a rush and kiss you. I didn't know what was it.
I remember the first time you called over the weekend and you asked all the random questions. Before we said goodbye, you said I love you. I didnt said the same, cuz I assume you were joking. But there is this small part in me, hoping it was true. Just like how you called my wawy wawy all the time.
I remember the first time you said you couldn't sleep. I asked you why, and you said cuz you missed me. Again, I will never know when you are telling me the truth, but I said to myself to trust your words, simply because you utter them.
I remember the day when we skyped over the midnight, and you were cheekily showing my your house and pictures of you and your monkey faces. I never laughed so much skyping someone.
I remember the day we argued for a small misunderstanding. I remembered how I cried in the other end of the line. The next day, you beep me and said you suppose your number is here. You asked if I could just go down for a while. You never said why. And there isn't any big why. Perhaps you just want to see me cry, cuz it makes you happy, or maybe you just want to check on me. Just to make sure I'm okay before you go back home over the weekend. I hope it was the latter cuz your small action made my day.
I remember the day I was still doing work at the accommodation office, and I didn't have time to meet you. You came over to the accommodation office study room and you called me. You asked me to step out. You asked me if I saw the Starz Valley construction site. You asked me to walk towards it. You said I'll see you then. When I reached the corner and I saw you, you have no idea how mixed feelings began to have for you. That few minutes, I stood there and we were just talking and you snuggled me too. I remember you asked if you should fall for me. I doubted for some time, but I said no. Cuz I knew you deserve girls that are much better than me. I somehow wondered what is it like today, if I had said yes.
I remember the night you were kinda upset, and I asked you if you would like a stroll at night. You said I was crazy. But I really want to see you so I insisted. Then you said, maybe you could get a kiss then a slap or a slap then a kiss after that. I agreed to either ways. We flicked for a while and we walked down the Student Accommodation Office corridor, which I really don't like. That was the first time you held my hand. They were warm indeed. I remember the stairs you pushed me against the wall and that was our first kiss.
I remember the first date we had. It was a day after my first tourney at UTem. We went to OneU, so you could check out your baby guitar. And we had quite some food. :D Most importantly, you had me in your hands even when we are walking rather aimlessly.
I remember some nights after pick up we would go for dinner. That night, I was frustrated on my performance. You held my hand and asked me why. You almost crash the side of the road cuz you were looking at me. Silly much.
I remember when you sang those songs. When you sang LegoHouse, the line where it goes, "Now I surrender up my heart, and swap it for yours" and the song Small Bump, you asked me to hold you thumb and wait for the line to come. I missed them. I miss the times we were so intimately close. The song, Bad Boy from Big Bang, that when you said you're a bad boy, it just makes me feel like kissing you. Just so you know, you have really soft lips.
I remember the first night we were in Johor, you came into the room, and you snuggled me. Okay. Maybe not really snuggled cuz you pinned me down anyway. I remember how you asked if I could help you massage you leg and your back. I remember how you didn't receive my message when I was looking for you the second night we were there. Then after you saw it, you came and whisper to me, wawy. I miss how you used to call me that.
I remember after the SDU, the night you asked you could sit in Erwin's car and go back earlier. I was upset, cuz I really want to spend more time with you. After every tournament, you always seem to take some time to be alone. I went down to your room, and I remember I just quietly slept next to you. Then once, you doubt whether or not to head back with Erwin, I was happy you stayed anyways. The morning when we got up, I remember how I lost my earrings, and how you found it for me. I remember how I snuggled you from the back, and you held my hand inside the blanket. The noon, I was in my menstrual cramps, and you're just there for me. I'm sorry that I was too weak that I couldn't cross the road, and I need you to drag me across. But I remember how you let me hold you and lie on your shoulder. I remember how you have gotten me pillow and a sweater. I remember most how you kept me safe. I remember how you tried to ease my pain and massaged my little forehead, and how you tried to keep my head on your lap in the car. That was a very unforgettable day. I felt really really safe with you.
I remember the day we went to myBurgerlab, and before that we went to eat cakes with Leon at Secret Recipe. You and him are like some twin brother. Only he can deal with you. The Dark Side, was a song that will always remind me of both of you. You two changed the lyrics too much. Nonetheless, I like spending time with you. I enjoy sitting next to you in the crammed up car when we were traveling. I felt close to you.
I remember how you asked me to stay to teach you before your exam, and I agreed. The night before, you studied with me at the AO, then Ivan asked for supper. After supper, you send me back to my block. You leant to the back seat when I was taking the documents, that Paul gave it to us, and that was the last kiss we shared.
I remember the day after the beginning of the semester break, I really couldn't get used to not seeing you. I see you almost everyday. I knew that I really really like you. I never missed someone that bad, it's driving me crazy.
I remember the night I was so upset, that I really felt like finding you, but you already went back PD. You asked if I missed you, and so I asked you, if you would care. You never answered me anyway. That day, I just broke up with my boyfriend. I wanna let you know that yes, I screwed him and I want to be with you.
I remember you said, no strings attach. I asked you what do you mean. You never explained. I guess I knew it somehow, but I thought I could do it too. Overconfidence indeed. I never thought I'd miss you that much.
I remember my birthday, you called for lunch. So we had lunch. It's just funny how we cannot discuss a simple topic together. We don't seem to get each other's point. So I was kinda upset. Then after pick up, you called me again. You asked if I had my dinner. You asked me to go down immediately. To be honest, I really was thinking that I could see you. So I was a little disappointed. After they left, then you called. You have no idea, how your appearance that night made me happy. That was the highlight of my day. It's such a roller coaster, love-hate feeling I have for you.
Then it was your birthday. I didn't really know if I should give you the card, simply cuz I don't know if its the right thing to do. I glad I made it. The reason why I hand-made it, is simply because I want you to know you are that special to me and I want you to have a really special gift you could keep for you, from me.
I remember the day I asked you to accompany me to Subang to fix the camera. I remember how you were at the driver seat after I got back from Canon, and you pulled the wire out in my car, you itchy hands. LOL you're a very naughty kid. Your surprised-and-guilty look is just priceless, wawy. Then after our snack for Rojak and Boost Juice, we head back and you are still so cheeky. I remember you were playing with the seat belts then I don't remember what happen that you got my hands in yours. That was the happiest day I had, and I'm happy I spent it with you.
I guess I will never know what feelings you had for me. Sometimes, just like lately when I saw you, I can't seem to set my eyes on you anymore. But I told myself I like so so much and I really want you. But distance continue to grow as time flies. I don't know what was the problem that we didn't work out like how people whisper about us.
It's funny how I still miss you, and I still teared up for us even though there isn't really anything between us anymore. I have this crazy love hate for you. But time flies, and the gap grew. I learnt that you moved on anyway. But I still do wish we were closer even now. I have so much mixed feelings that I want to tell you about.
Kina Grannis sang, "Remembering the last kiss that we shared doesn't feel right. Is it impossible for me to win this fight? Keep you a little longer in my life".
This confession, I intend to let you know while I still do have feelings for you. I can't believe that I would be missing you out in my life, but I'm glad we share those moments together. And all I want, is you to know, you are the one that impacted me so much, with so little. You are the someone, that meant so much to me, that made me feel so safe and that someone, that I like so much, but can never be mine.
Much love,
HuiJin Liew
There were so many things running through my mind ever since our distance grew. I thought there were a glimpse of light for us, even though I knew you had your heart for someone else. Last semester, we spend so much time together, I guess I can never count them. I love having you around me, even when we were not talking.
I remember the night we went dinner, then I said I wanna sit longer in your car. So we chatted. We talked bout quiet some topics. About you, about me, about your ex's and mine. I remember that feeling I have and just a rush and kiss you. I didn't know what was it.
I remember the first time you called over the weekend and you asked all the random questions. Before we said goodbye, you said I love you. I didnt said the same, cuz I assume you were joking. But there is this small part in me, hoping it was true. Just like how you called my wawy wawy all the time.
I remember the first time you said you couldn't sleep. I asked you why, and you said cuz you missed me. Again, I will never know when you are telling me the truth, but I said to myself to trust your words, simply because you utter them.
I remember the day when we skyped over the midnight, and you were cheekily showing my your house and pictures of you and your monkey faces. I never laughed so much skyping someone.
I remember the day we argued for a small misunderstanding. I remembered how I cried in the other end of the line. The next day, you beep me and said you suppose your number is here. You asked if I could just go down for a while. You never said why. And there isn't any big why. Perhaps you just want to see me cry, cuz it makes you happy, or maybe you just want to check on me. Just to make sure I'm okay before you go back home over the weekend. I hope it was the latter cuz your small action made my day.
I remember the day I was still doing work at the accommodation office, and I didn't have time to meet you. You came over to the accommodation office study room and you called me. You asked me to step out. You asked me if I saw the Starz Valley construction site. You asked me to walk towards it. You said I'll see you then. When I reached the corner and I saw you, you have no idea how mixed feelings began to have for you. That few minutes, I stood there and we were just talking and you snuggled me too. I remember you asked if you should fall for me. I doubted for some time, but I said no. Cuz I knew you deserve girls that are much better than me. I somehow wondered what is it like today, if I had said yes.
I remember the night you were kinda upset, and I asked you if you would like a stroll at night. You said I was crazy. But I really want to see you so I insisted. Then you said, maybe you could get a kiss then a slap or a slap then a kiss after that. I agreed to either ways. We flicked for a while and we walked down the Student Accommodation Office corridor, which I really don't like. That was the first time you held my hand. They were warm indeed. I remember the stairs you pushed me against the wall and that was our first kiss.
I remember the first date we had. It was a day after my first tourney at UTem. We went to OneU, so you could check out your baby guitar. And we had quite some food. :D Most importantly, you had me in your hands even when we are walking rather aimlessly.
I remember some nights after pick up we would go for dinner. That night, I was frustrated on my performance. You held my hand and asked me why. You almost crash the side of the road cuz you were looking at me. Silly much.
I remember when you sang those songs. When you sang LegoHouse, the line where it goes, "Now I surrender up my heart, and swap it for yours" and the song Small Bump, you asked me to hold you thumb and wait for the line to come. I missed them. I miss the times we were so intimately close. The song, Bad Boy from Big Bang, that when you said you're a bad boy, it just makes me feel like kissing you. Just so you know, you have really soft lips.
I remember the first night we were in Johor, you came into the room, and you snuggled me. Okay. Maybe not really snuggled cuz you pinned me down anyway. I remember how you asked if I could help you massage you leg and your back. I remember how you didn't receive my message when I was looking for you the second night we were there. Then after you saw it, you came and whisper to me, wawy. I miss how you used to call me that.
I remember after the SDU, the night you asked you could sit in Erwin's car and go back earlier. I was upset, cuz I really want to spend more time with you. After every tournament, you always seem to take some time to be alone. I went down to your room, and I remember I just quietly slept next to you. Then once, you doubt whether or not to head back with Erwin, I was happy you stayed anyways. The morning when we got up, I remember how I lost my earrings, and how you found it for me. I remember how I snuggled you from the back, and you held my hand inside the blanket. The noon, I was in my menstrual cramps, and you're just there for me. I'm sorry that I was too weak that I couldn't cross the road, and I need you to drag me across. But I remember how you let me hold you and lie on your shoulder. I remember how you have gotten me pillow and a sweater. I remember most how you kept me safe. I remember how you tried to ease my pain and massaged my little forehead, and how you tried to keep my head on your lap in the car. That was a very unforgettable day. I felt really really safe with you.
I remember the day we went to myBurgerlab, and before that we went to eat cakes with Leon at Secret Recipe. You and him are like some twin brother. Only he can deal with you. The Dark Side, was a song that will always remind me of both of you. You two changed the lyrics too much. Nonetheless, I like spending time with you. I enjoy sitting next to you in the crammed up car when we were traveling. I felt close to you.
I remember how you asked me to stay to teach you before your exam, and I agreed. The night before, you studied with me at the AO, then Ivan asked for supper. After supper, you send me back to my block. You leant to the back seat when I was taking the documents, that Paul gave it to us, and that was the last kiss we shared.
I remember the day after the beginning of the semester break, I really couldn't get used to not seeing you. I see you almost everyday. I knew that I really really like you. I never missed someone that bad, it's driving me crazy.
I remember the night I was so upset, that I really felt like finding you, but you already went back PD. You asked if I missed you, and so I asked you, if you would care. You never answered me anyway. That day, I just broke up with my boyfriend. I wanna let you know that yes, I screwed him and I want to be with you.
I remember you said, no strings attach. I asked you what do you mean. You never explained. I guess I knew it somehow, but I thought I could do it too. Overconfidence indeed. I never thought I'd miss you that much.
I remember my birthday, you called for lunch. So we had lunch. It's just funny how we cannot discuss a simple topic together. We don't seem to get each other's point. So I was kinda upset. Then after pick up, you called me again. You asked if I had my dinner. You asked me to go down immediately. To be honest, I really was thinking that I could see you. So I was a little disappointed. After they left, then you called. You have no idea, how your appearance that night made me happy. That was the highlight of my day. It's such a roller coaster, love-hate feeling I have for you.
Then it was your birthday. I didn't really know if I should give you the card, simply cuz I don't know if its the right thing to do. I glad I made it. The reason why I hand-made it, is simply because I want you to know you are that special to me and I want you to have a really special gift you could keep for you, from me.
I remember the day I asked you to accompany me to Subang to fix the camera. I remember how you were at the driver seat after I got back from Canon, and you pulled the wire out in my car, you itchy hands. LOL you're a very naughty kid. Your surprised-and-guilty look is just priceless, wawy. Then after our snack for Rojak and Boost Juice, we head back and you are still so cheeky. I remember you were playing with the seat belts then I don't remember what happen that you got my hands in yours. That was the happiest day I had, and I'm happy I spent it with you.
I guess I will never know what feelings you had for me. Sometimes, just like lately when I saw you, I can't seem to set my eyes on you anymore. But I told myself I like so so much and I really want you. But distance continue to grow as time flies. I don't know what was the problem that we didn't work out like how people whisper about us.
It's funny how I still miss you, and I still teared up for us even though there isn't really anything between us anymore. I have this crazy love hate for you. But time flies, and the gap grew. I learnt that you moved on anyway. But I still do wish we were closer even now. I have so much mixed feelings that I want to tell you about.
Kina Grannis sang, "Remembering the last kiss that we shared doesn't feel right. Is it impossible for me to win this fight? Keep you a little longer in my life".
This confession, I intend to let you know while I still do have feelings for you. I can't believe that I would be missing you out in my life, but I'm glad we share those moments together. And all I want, is you to know, you are the one that impacted me so much, with so little. You are the someone, that meant so much to me, that made me feel so safe and that someone, that I like so much, but can never be mine.
Much love,
HuiJin Liew
Comments
Post a Comment