About last year
It's the new year now. And some people might want to highlight that they wish for better and better days coming up and I feel the same. Except that sometimes, certain things stay.
I think I am doing what I tell myself to do. I told myself, that there's nothing else that I'd want to do than to fight for our friendship right now. And I think it works...in some way. I'm trying to swallow all the tears and feelings and let it go.
You called me, the very day I have missed you. I'm pretty much dying in the inside. Thank you for calling me. I didn't manage to say all the words that I want to or plan to, but I said the words that I hope counts the most, "thank you for calling me". It was still awkward, it still felt different but it helps me so much. The short call saved me. At least I know you cared. That at least I know, the small things I left on the internet reaches you somehow. That at least I know, we are still friends.
But one thing, I want to tell you, that I never treated you just friends. You're like my best friend. When things crumbled, I kinda felt lost and like I've lost a best friend, and I don't like how that feels. I don't want to go through that again. Especially not with you.
Every now and then, something stayed in my heart and I can't seem to feel but not drown myself in you. I hope that I'm doing the right thing that I think I am doing. So he feels better, you feel better and maybe I would too.
I hope you'd come back, and if you do I want to have all the courage to tell you what I felt. And who knows I can look for you if I go Aussie then. :D
I'll miss you.
I think I am doing what I tell myself to do. I told myself, that there's nothing else that I'd want to do than to fight for our friendship right now. And I think it works...in some way. I'm trying to swallow all the tears and feelings and let it go.
You called me, the very day I have missed you. I'm pretty much dying in the inside. Thank you for calling me. I didn't manage to say all the words that I want to or plan to, but I said the words that I hope counts the most, "thank you for calling me". It was still awkward, it still felt different but it helps me so much. The short call saved me. At least I know you cared. That at least I know, the small things I left on the internet reaches you somehow. That at least I know, we are still friends.
But one thing, I want to tell you, that I never treated you just friends. You're like my best friend. When things crumbled, I kinda felt lost and like I've lost a best friend, and I don't like how that feels. I don't want to go through that again. Especially not with you.
Every now and then, something stayed in my heart and I can't seem to feel but not drown myself in you. I hope that I'm doing the right thing that I think I am doing. So he feels better, you feel better and maybe I would too.
I hope you'd come back, and if you do I want to have all the courage to tell you what I felt. And who knows I can look for you if I go Aussie then. :D
I'll miss you.
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