let's make a deal.
It's almost a year already. Now that I had fallen for someone else, just to realise how history tends to repeat. I ask myself, do I deserve to be treated that way? I can't believe, but I did gave up on Jer. It's probably only a month since I have fallen for Ed, but it feels beyond reach already.
Maybe I became sensitive too. Maybe all the mess made us who we are today. Sadly. I ask myself, its to the right guy or to the guy that makes you feel so right? I want to fight for him, but I'm not throughly blind. If he wants to play a mind game, he definitely won, because I am freaking out that it doesn't feel the same anymore. Or perhaps, all the while I have only been a replacement to him. I remember the night you spoke about her. You said you don't know but you'll try anyhow. I remember the day you said, you're only concentrating on her only. I have this unexplained love hate for you.
I hate you for being such an insecure boy. I hate you for being such a cold hearted guy. I hate how you try to keep me away but you want to keep nudging me. I hate how you never intend to tell me whats going on. I hate how you poke with my feelings. I hate how you make me miss you all night. I hate how you make me feels all these could only mean nothing. I hate how you make me wonder who am I to you. I hate how you have fun seeing me miss you. I hate how you could only just be using me.
Some said, I wasn't an item, I wasn't a trophy. But why isn't there just one that can stop that thought in me?
I didnt want to just let him go. But I want an honest relationship. Messed up and complicated, I have been there and done that. I had enough of it. I want to just stay close to him. But then again, if he likes her, then there's nothing I can do. I can and I should step away.
Let's make a deal here.
If he moves, I will move away too.
Even if he doesn't or he does move, I will keep myself surrounded with a circle of friends I knew we could be.
Cheers,
HuiJin Liew
Maybe I became sensitive too. Maybe all the mess made us who we are today. Sadly. I ask myself, its to the right guy or to the guy that makes you feel so right? I want to fight for him, but I'm not throughly blind. If he wants to play a mind game, he definitely won, because I am freaking out that it doesn't feel the same anymore. Or perhaps, all the while I have only been a replacement to him. I remember the night you spoke about her. You said you don't know but you'll try anyhow. I remember the day you said, you're only concentrating on her only. I have this unexplained love hate for you.
I hate you for being such an insecure boy. I hate you for being such a cold hearted guy. I hate how you try to keep me away but you want to keep nudging me. I hate how you never intend to tell me whats going on. I hate how you poke with my feelings. I hate how you make me miss you all night. I hate how you make me feels all these could only mean nothing. I hate how you make me wonder who am I to you. I hate how you have fun seeing me miss you. I hate how you could only just be using me.
Some said, I wasn't an item, I wasn't a trophy. But why isn't there just one that can stop that thought in me?
I didnt want to just let him go. But I want an honest relationship. Messed up and complicated, I have been there and done that. I had enough of it. I want to just stay close to him. But then again, if he likes her, then there's nothing I can do. I can and I should step away.
Let's make a deal here.
If he moves, I will move away too.
Even if he doesn't or he does move, I will keep myself surrounded with a circle of friends I knew we could be.
Cheers,
HuiJin Liew
Comments
Post a Comment