growing up

My kids grown up today!

I hereby announce Chan Pei Ern and Chee Penn-Ey are graduates! :D

I feel like a mom being in the graduation ceremony. Although I weren't there when they take their scrolls, but I feel happy cuz I'm able to be there for their important day. :) I'm glad I kept my promises for them. Cuz I don't who will?

Anyways, 

I went to look for my baby boy today.

Since meeting him was part of my plan, I will make it happen.

I was there at 4pm. I texted him, if I can take 5 minutes from him? He replied me 30minutes later. So i stood under the rain, for 30 minutes. Again, I almost cried. How worried I am, if he never replies. When he did, he called, I don't know how to portray my emotions when I hear him. I was walking to see him, and my brain keeps telling myself, what do you want to say when you see him? 

When I saw him, I sank into his embraces, then I forgot the heavy feelings I had the moment before that. It's probably 10 minutes. I spend only 10 minutes or less with him. It didn't make me feel happy,  but at least I feel better. Maybe in a way, I wanted to prove to him, that if I can make it count, why couldn't he do the same for me?

Sometimes, it does matter. I cannot forget something that has happen before. I felt intimidated, I know. I just can't handle being a middle person for my boy and some other girl. I'm a middle person for too many people. I've known to well, and I don't want to be your mid-person. I just want to get back my own little pride and right as your girl.

HuiJin Liew